you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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