he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
