I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
