dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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