when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
