OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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