Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
