I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The air taste purple.
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