Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
