Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I party with great urgency now.
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