The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory