I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night