also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?