worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
