You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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