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So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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