You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu