All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
