dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all