you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
