More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize