My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
