Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
