...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
