I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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