"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
