i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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