Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
