she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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