You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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