Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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