I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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