New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize