Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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