I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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