I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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