you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
