And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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