That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
