thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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