I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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