I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
