I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
