I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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