What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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