If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
