we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
