Im at strip club and am horny
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
