He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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