The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She bit a glass in half.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
