Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
