We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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