Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
