Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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