if i can run in heels then i can drive
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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