That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
