im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I didn't shave. On purpose
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
