I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize