I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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