What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
