Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
