i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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