that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
