why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
