i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
