Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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