I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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