soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
