i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
