After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Randomize
