with your own penis?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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