he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
