U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
