Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
