We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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