If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
