she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
