You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
