I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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